This is Me

So, this is my life…I have 4 perfect children.

• They sleep through the night.
• They respond straight away when called
• they play nicely with their siblings
• they all eat healthy nutritious meals...that I cook for them....from scratch
• i respond in love and grace to ALL situations
• they keep their rooms clean… 

So when did I lose you? I guess you realized this is more my PERFECT life. But, to be honest this is what I had in mind when I planned for my family. Why can't reality be like this?

I was recently asked to speak to some women in my church about what makes me unique as a woman. I laughed. I have just had a 5-week meltdown because of

• hormones and
• mountains of washing that never end
• piles of dirty dishes that go on forever.
• toys strewn through the house like Hurricane Sandy has been through the house on repeat as soon as I clean up.

I was getting lost in who I was. 

The age old question "Who Am I? Who is Kristy Pryce?"

And what the heck is my purpose? 

For 5 weeks, I was sitting watching Netflix and feeling sorry for myself and my lack of knowing who I was. I kept to myself and took no interest in anything. But I knew exactly who Lorelai and Rory Gilmore were.

At the time in Bible college, we were studying 1 and 2 Timothy. A verse stood out to me… 2 Timothy 3:1-4

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. ² People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, ³ without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, ⁴ treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—“

Yep. I get that. Don’t be like that. It is bad. But then I read verse 5

“having a form of godliness, but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them”

As I read that part it kind of hit me in the guts. “This is me.” I claim to be a Christian, but I am not accepting the power that comes from being a Christian. And the Bible says to have nothing to do with these people!

I was living out my life like it was a job and not a calling. I was not putting purpose into my everyday. 

I kept WAITING for my life to start. 

I kept WAITING to be ready to be the mum, the wife, the friend, the person who knew what she was doing. 

I kept WAITING to be the one to prepare the perfect nutritional needs.

I kept WAITING to respond in love and grace EVERYTIME when the kids are arguing.

Right now, in my season of Life, I have the opportunity to put so much into my kids. And be the biggest support for my husband. The best friend. But I was so involved in myself that I didn’t even see it. 

Where was MY time for it to be all about ME?

• Why do I have to support my husband’s accomplishments?
• Why do I have to clean up after the kids?
• Feed them. 
• Stop them from killing each other.

What about me?! (cue Shannon Noll...or the Biggest Loser)

What I didn’t realise was that while I was living life without purpose or intention, the “journey for self discovery” kept getting further and further away because I was not learning anything or becoming anything.

I hear tales of people who take time out to go on a journey of self discovery. I don’t believe you can do that if you are not purposeful/intentional about your everyday.

I look back at what I thought I wanted in life. And I couldn’t tell you if I wanted to be a flight attendant, shop assistant or doctor. I had no clue. But in looking back I see myself. Who I am now. I am a mother. A wife.  But how good I am at those roles is based on my everyday. In my purposeful everyday life. Because as soon as I have discovered myself today, it gives me room for change tomorrow. Because I become aware of who I am in God.

Life is a constant battle of self-discovery and doing ordinary everyday life. We can’t just drop everyday living to discover ourselves. And what is the point of doing ordinary everyday life if there is no purpose to life or self discovery? We need balance. To do both things well. Self-discovery is a lifetime thing. 

Because our ordinary everyday selves are changing. 

Seasons are changing. 

Expectations are changing.

I always expected I would know what I was doing when I was an adult. I clearly don’t. I still feel 20. I know I look it too. (laugh in your head)

So, I want to leave you with this thought. 

Whatever you are doing, do it with purpose. 

Nothing you do is pointless. Because it is defining you. Good or bad. 

How you respond to circumstances. It is defining you. 

How you raise your family. That is defining you. 

How you speak truth over your friends. That is defining you. 

And before you know it. You have discovered who you are, not by searching, but by living a purposeful life.

So for me as a women. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a friend. And I am doing all these with purpose. 

"Marriage Equality"

I believe that as a Christian I can’t let the lost be misguided. God calls us to be the light. But so many Christians put their own opinion over this light to the point that it is so dull that it's no longer distinguishable from the dark.

I am not saying I am perfect. I am just saying as Christians we DAILY need to check ourselves. Make sure we have it right according to God. I am not on here to judge people. The Bible says not to judge others.

Matthew 7:1-3 (NIV)

7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

But it doesn’t say give up on what you believe in and don’t fight for it. I want to do something about the issue of “gay marriage” that will affect generations and generations if Christians don’t’ stand up for what the Bible tells us.

When the Prime Minister of Australia claims to be a Christian and uses the Bible to defend his stand on issues, I would expect him to have some knowledge of the Bible. And as a politician, I expect him to have some knowledge of the importance for context.

But what Kevin Rudd said in answer to a question about gay marriage, is misleading, completely out of context and even if he was to put what he said in the context, it would still have absolutely no relevance to the question.

In fact, (I am not a Bible scholar) but what I would get from what Kevin Rudd said is this. “Slavery is a natural condition” True. When Adam and Eve sinned, they brought sin into the world. So all are born into sin (slavery). And only through Jesus can we get to the Father. So in saying this, Kevin Rudd has actually backed up what the Bible is saying. Homosexuality is a sin.

And then when I see Christians are in support of what Kevin said, I am really saddened. They post on Facebook about what a revelation a politician has just made that pastors for centuries have not been able to do. They condemn their pastors for not reading the Bible. And are falling for every word this politician had to say. And he had it WRONG!

I hear Christians preaching God is a God for universal love. My God IS a loving God. Yes, He loves everyone, no matter what the sin. And He offers us grace … BUT He still said sin was wrong and this is where people get mixed up. A person cannot be covered by Grace until they accept what they have done is sin and ask for that covering of grace.

John 14:6 (NIV) Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

And as a Christian myself, I don’t believe that making people feel that whatever they do is ok. As we will all give account if what we have done for Christ Jesus. By telling people God is ok with whatever they do, we are not only risking their salvation, but our own.

Matthew 12:35-37 (NIV) 35 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

My God is a loving God. Not a wishy washy God. I don’t want to serve a passive God that lets us do what we want.

If that was the case what was the point of the crucifixion? Jesus came as man to take the sin of man. But only if we ask him too. If we don’t believe we are sinners, we are making the reason for the crucifixion  null and void.

My God is the same Yesterday, today and forever. So why would his stand on this issue change? His Word doesn’t change to be more relevant to the world today. It is always relevant. And I will stand for my belief regardless of what people think. Because that is my duty to future generations and it is my right.

Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

I don’t believe it is right for gay marriage to be made legal. They want equality. They have the right to a civil union. They have rights in the government to receive same benefits as de facto and married couples. Yet they want to be legally wed. Have a definition that doesn’t define their circumstance.

Marriage equality is already equal based on the definition. Any man may marry a woman if she is of right age and not related. But they want to change the definition to allow man and man to marry. And woman and woman to marry, Why then, based on that, would it be wrong to change the definition to allow brother to marry sister, man marry child, or woman take more than one husband at one time?

I don’t believe equality is the changing of a definition. That is not making anything equal. It is turning an apple and a panda into a palm tree. It completely loses all meaning of the original meaning. And as a married person I feel it is my right to defend the meaning of the vow I took. And the covenant I entered into.

By allowing “marriage equality” to pass we are giving the world a sense of false hope. We are giving the green light to do wrong in the eyes of God. As Christians we don’t need to abide by this law, but if we can look at the affect it will have on future generations. We are denying children the right to have both a mother and a father. Yes, there are already circumstances this happens. But the law is stripping this right away. Then the world gets messed up. And the world cries out “God, what have you done to us”

We might get knocked down by standing for what we believe. We might get spat on. Laughed at. We don’t need to be uncompassionate about the way we do it. We don’t need to be ruthless and soap box standing Christians telling them they will be going to hell. But sometimes. Hell. They need to know.

My Story of God's Grace

This is my story of God’s Grace and Mercy on my life. I guess I shall start from the beginning and fumble my way through the middle as the middle part I don’t have that much recollection of. I feel like a third person telling this story as I was not aware of all the important stuff at the time.

So it was Wednesday and I woke up feeling a little off. Like you do the day before you get the flu or gastro. Headachy and sore joints. So when I woke up on Thursday feeling awful I was prepared for it and waited for it to pass. By Saturday it seemed to be getting worse. I had the sweats and not able to keep anything down, even water caused me to be sick all over again. So I went to a walk in clinic (cos it a Saturday and who ever gets a dr apt on a Saturday?!) The dr asked my symptoms and gave me some antibiotics saying it either gastro or food poisoning. She told me to go to dr next day if not feeling better. So Sunday I went to Emergency as I was so dehydrated and awful I needed something other than antibiotics. The hospital gave me those horrible saline icy poles that look refreshing but taste like I was licking a dead fish. Then when they took me through they put me on a drip and gave me nauseous tablets and sent me home.

By Monday I had “Aaron the wonderful” stay home to watch the kids . I spent the day in and out of the shower cos I was so hot and I would go to bed and wake up in the sweats again. By Monday night I started to feel a little human again. And I said that Aaron should go to work the next day.

Tuesday, I woke up and sent Grace to a friend’s place. Levi tends to play well on his own and Faith was not herself either so she was clingy and annoying. My mother in law (who lives next door) ended up taking Levi and I put Faith to bed.

I crashed on the couch. Not noticing time or kids. Or that Grace had been dropped home. Or the fact it looked like a Kellogg’s factory had exploded in my family room. The next thing I remember was waking up and everything was hazy. Aaron was talking to me but I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. He touched my skin and said I was burning. He grabbed his mother and asked her to watch the kids while he took me to the hospital…AGAIN.

We only live about 5 minutes (in peak hour) from the hospital, but it felt forever. I walked in and a nurse came over to us and I was sent straight through. I didn’t even have to talk to the triage nurse. Well I didn’t, Aaron probably did.

My body temperature at this point was about 40.1C. Having asked so many questions and not be able to find out what was wrong they, decided to send me to Fremantle hospital.  They did at one point believe it was gallstones, but Aaron mentioned a few times my gall bladder was removed the previous year.

So I went to Fremantle in an ambulance (not very comfortable) and they would not even let Aaron come with me. And from that point I have no recollection till 8 days later. So I will tell you what was told to me.

Aaron was told not to come with me as there was no point as he would have to sit out in waiting room anyway so he should come in morning and get some rest. The ambulance lady called him to say when I arrived at hospital.

Aaron got a phone call from the ICU dr at 2 in the morning and then again he got a phone call to say I had been resuscitated twice but still alive. He came straight to hospital and sat by my side for 40 hours. I recall having visitors, but I couldn’t tell you if it was day or night or what order.

They finally told Aaron to go home and get some rest and that they would call him regularly to keep him updated. They called every 2 hours through the night. During the early morning Aaron got the regular call from ICU dr and was told they would have to induce a coma as my heart rate was so high (as if I was running a marathon, and not unconscious on the bed), as was my blood pressure. They said my body was suffering multiple organ failure and they needed to do this to give my body a rest and a chance at survival.

I was in a coma for 4 days. At one point I had all the heads of medicine from the hospital around my bed not sure of what the cause was. During this time they did nearly every test under the sun to find out what was wrong. They did bone marrow biopsy, lumbar puncture and took so much blood I could have kept a family of vampires happy for a month. They pumped me full of nearly everything they could think of and so much fluid I literally put on over 20 kilos.

When they brought me out of a coma, I called for Aaron and told him that I was scared. It was one of the scariest times of my life. Because I was not getting answers from the Drs. And nothing could be explained. But I believe that for some reason God only gave me the amount of knowledge I could handle at the time. Because, had I known the full extent of what was happening I honestly don't know how I would have coped. I would have been so overwhelmed with fear I probably would have given up. Because that is my coping mechanism.

I was still on all this medication and my liver was getting worse. So they stopped all medication not knowing what was helping me and what was not. There was a talk of a liver transplant.

And then it was 8 days later. I had no idea what had happened and how severe my symptoms were. I had been out of ICU for a few days by then and was in the NSU (I think that was the anagram. But it was 2 nurses to a patient instead of 1 on 1.) My daily blood results were still showing signs of rapid decline and now it was just a waiting game to see how much worse it would get or if it would just plateau.

During the next few days I was having daily physio therapy. This just involved me getting out of bed and sitting in the chair for a few minutes. The chair was right next to the bed but it still took a good half hour to do it. It didn’t help that I had so many tubes and cords coming out of my body that I looked like a puppet. And I could only sit in the chair for a few minutes before I needed to get back to bed.

A few days later, they had to take out all my cables as they thought they could be a point of infection. I was so relieved. Especially the one in the neck. Makes me queasy thinking about it. And then they said I could go to a normal ward. I was so excited as it was so hard to sleep at night with all the nurses doing their hourly rotations.

So off to the geriatric ward I went. Well, it felt like that anyways. And I got to see my kids!!! Grace (6) Levi (4) and Faith (1). I cant even imagine how Aaron was feeling going home everyday having to answer their questions "How is mummy" and  "Is mummy going to die?" From Levi.

After a few days I was told my liver seemed to have plateaued. And that I might be able to head home in a few days. 4 days later I was packing my bags and going home. With no medications or clear explanation from Dr what the reason was.

I had weekly blood tests for my liver and within 4 weeks, my liver went from probably needing a transplant to being in complete normal range!!!!
During my time in hospital, I had so many people praying for me and my family. We had so many people stepping up with meals and watching the kids so Aaron could come in to see me.

There are probably parts of this story that I have not mentioned as most of the information I am getting is from hearing Aaron tell the story to people. I get more information every time I hear it. And I am starting to feel detached from the whole thing because I think how was that me? I don't recall anything? I feel so normal now. Like it never happened!
 

I believe that through so much prayer, God just did the miraculous. Because the Doctors could not give definitive answers and science and medication were not able to solve anything. And today I am completely and miraculously healed!

Kristy xx